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| i am not yours to worry about, not yours to protect, not yours to comfort, not yours to care for, to adore, to love. i am NOT YOURS in any way. i belong to no one. no one but God of course.... so take a step back and give me my space. i need it. i can't breathe with you so close.... i can't stretch my arms..... i can't grow. you have trapped me in a place i don't want to be. you don't know what's best for me, though you think you do... you've driven me away.... driven me into places i thought i would never go. i don't love life the way you want me to live it.... and i'm not going to change for you. so get over it. you can accept me just as i am... or you can walk away and forget me. do what you will... whatever you think works, i'll accept. but as for me... i'm going to keep my trusting, open heart and be comforting and loving to all who need it. i'm not going to abandon friends simply because YOU do not approve. you are not my keeper. while i listen to your thoughts and opinions, they are not words i live by, and they won't be. you think you know me and what is best for me, but you don't. you have been the primary instrument in creating the unhappiness that rests on my heart. if you are going to be my friend...... then you need to give me my space and learn to let go of the hold you once had over me. | | |
| "i know i deserve to die for this murder in my heart.
so be gentle with me Jesus as you tear me apart." | | |
| so i went to the doctor the other day cause i was stillllll not feelin' too well... and he took an x-ray of my chest. i was thinkin "ok.. cool, he's checkin for pneumonia, no prob." when he gets the xrays, he shows them to me and is like "well... that's good. no sign of a tumor or a blood clot." and i was thinkin' "um yeaaaaaaaaah that's definitely good." some doctors seriously need to work on the way they say things. goodness. | | |
| sooo... i was sitting in class today and had this overwhelming desire to be married. sure, i've had the want to be at that stage of my life for a while now, but no where near what i felt today. i was trying to pay attention, i really was... but my thoughts drifted and ended up on marriage. after dwelling on it for a moment, i started thinking "hey wait a minute... i'm only 19... i should want to go out and have fun and do whatever and date whoever... and blah blah blah". i'm not like most other 19 year olds though. i really have no desire to go out and party and get drunk and stay out super super late with some random people i might not talk to anymore or annnnnything like that. i'm pretty sure that God just didn't make me for dating and whatnot. He was thinking "Hmm... Elissa, I'm sorry but you're going to suck at dating.... but be made for marriage." i'm so not even kidding... i wouldn't mind skipping over college completely. it's not like i've enjoyed it at all anyways. i'd rather just be married, teaching... then eventually have kids. there's a lot about that kind of life that i think would be so much better than the kind of life i've got right now. but alas... i am 19.... with no boyfriend.... and none in sight... with 2 and a half years left of college. | | |
| found this and thought it was awesome:
"The 92nd playing of the Rose Bowl is sure to be a great college football match between two great teams. While we here in Austin do anticipate a win and national championship for our Longhorns, Win or Loose, one fact will remain forever constant – Our women are better looking.
Texas women embody an unbeaten package of charm, beauty, quick wit, sweetness, and an ability to drink that is unparalleled by females residing in other states. (see: Cali)
Texas women have been looking sexy in boots and hats since long before they became a Hollywood trend, and Texas women look better in them on their worst day than any LA-trend setter crazed USC co-ed on her best
HOOK'EM" | | |
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